Copeland Center For Wellness and Recovery

Mental Health Recovery Newsletter

 June 2000 Volume 1.2 

Introduction

Welcome to Mental Health Recovery. This newlsetter is published quarterly from the office of Mary Ellen Copeland. It can be sent to you through the mail or through e-mail. It will be letting you know about books and seminars, news, and will feature a recovery topic and a wellness tool in each issue. It will address topics of interest to people who experience psychiatric symptoms, to family members, health care professionals, and to anyone who wants to learn more about recovering from these uncomfortable, often disabling symptoms. Your feedback would be appreciated.

This second issue of our wellness recovery Newsletter has been developed in response to requests from readers of the last issue, one on how to manage anger and one on our bill of rights. The article on Peer Counseling is this issue's Wellness Tool.

If you would like a copy of the previous issue of this newsletter, contact the office of Mary Ellen Copeland by phone or e-mail or click here.

Seminar Schedule

Mental Health Recovery Skills Seminar Part II: Teaching Self-Management of Psychiatric Symptoms

Mary Ellen Copeland will be presenting a Recovery Educator Seminar November 13-17, 2000 at Vermont College in Brattleboro, VT. This training is for peple who want to teach others how to develop a Wellness Recovery Action PlanT and other recovery oriented skills and strategies. People attending this seminar either need to have prior experience with Mary Ellen's work or take a four lesson correspondence course which she offers. Please contact Mary Ellen's office if you are interested in coming to this training or taking the correspondence course.

Continuing Education Units to meet professional development requirements are available for these seminars at no extra charge. Master's level course credit is also available for participants who are willing to do the additional assigments necessary to meet the course requirements. There is a per credit fee to receive this credit.

Mental Health Recovery Skills Seminar Part I: Learning How to Self-Manage Psychiatric Symptoms

In this training participants work with Mary Ellen Copeland and her staff for five days, learning key recovery concepts, skills and tools and developing thier own Wellness Recovery Action PlanT. A training will be set up as soon as their are enough people have expressed an interest in attending. If you are interested in attending, please contact the office of Mary Ellen Copeland.

Upcoming Presentations

  • August 12, 2000, 2:00-3:30pm. NDMDA Conference. Boston, MA. WRAP: An Innovative Self-Management Tool. Call 1-800-826-3632 for more information and a brochure.

  • September 16 -17, 2000. Two-day workshop on developing a Wellness Recovery Action PlanT. Colchester, England. For more information on this and other trainings in the United Kingdom Email Gordon Chelsworth at wrap.uk@talk21.com.

New Publications Available

Healing the Trauma of Abuse: A Women's Workbook by Mary Ellen Copeland, co-authored with Maxine Harris of Community Connections in Washington, DC. This important self-help book describes a weekly lesson process that women can use to relieve the effects of trauma in their lives, either when working closely with a counselor, or when - as many women must do - working on their own. It offers ways to rebuild self-esteem and reclaim the personal power, trust and sense of connection that are taken away by a traumatic experience. This book is based on the findings of an intensive study of strategies that help women to heal from the effects of traumas and to make their lives the way they want them to be.

A person who has used this book says, "This work is empowering". Copeland and Harris's workbook was an integral part of helping me unpack my trauma baggage. It's a 'must have' book for any woman dealing witht he devastating effects of trauma."

The Loneliness Workbook by Mary Ellen Copeland. As Mary Ellen teaches around the country, she continues to find that loneliness is a strong contributor to depression and poor quality of life for people who experience psychiatric symptoms. In this book Mary Ellen has described how to develop and keep a strong support system. In addition she has addressed many issues that make it difficult for many people to make and keep friends. As with her other books, this book was the result of a study of nearly 100 people to find out how they relieve loneliness in their lives.

"Loneliness is pervasive in our fast-paced culture. Since people tend to increase their sense of emotional distress when they are disconnected from others, the effects of loneliness are a serious problem. This excellent book takes a hands-on approach to relieving loneliness and offers people hope that relationships are a path to healing and growth."

- Sherry Mead, MSW, Founder of the breakthrough Stepping Stone Peer Support Center

Coming Soon

Recovery/ WRAP Curriculum. Mary Ellen is developing a Recovery/ WRAP curriculum which will be available through her office at the end of the summer. It will include a comprehensive teaching manual, a PowerPoint presentation on disc for either Mac or IBM computers, a WRAP audio tape, several WRAP books and one copy of Winning Against Relapse. This curriculum package will supplement Mental Health Recovery Skills Seminar Part II: Teaching Self-Management of Psychiatric Symptoms.

Mental Health Recovery Booklets. Mary Ellen has been working in collaboration with the Center for Mental Health Services and a focus group of ten people to develop a series of mental health self-help booklets. The booklets are

  1. Making and Keeping Friends
  2. Building Self Esteem
  3. Action Planning for Prevention and Recovery
  4. Dealing with the Effects of Trauma
  5. Advocating for Yourself
  6. Developing a Lifestyle that Enhances Wellness, and
  7. Recovering Your Mental Health: A Self Help Guide.

They contain information, ideas and strategies that people from all over the country have found to be helpful in relieving and preventing troubling feelings and symptoms. The information in these short, easily digested booklets can be safely used along with your other health care treatment. The booklets are currently in the review and design phase. They will be available to anyone, without charge.

Wellness Workshops, a video of Mary Ellen teaching 30 people how to develop Wellness Recovery Action Plans, is being produced by the Mental Illness Education Project, Inc., for planned availability later this year.

The book Wellness Recovery Action Plan™ is being translated into Spanish. The date of availability will be announced in the next newsletter.

Long Range Plans

WRAP on the Net. Plans are in the very early stages for a Mental Health Recovery Skills Seminar Part I: Learning How to Self-Manage Psychiatric Symptoms on the Internet. You will be kept abreast of progress on this development. The next step will be Mental Health Recovery Skills Seminar Part II: Teaching Self-Management of Psychiatric Symptoms on the internet.

WELLNESS TOOLBOX

Peer Counseling:
A Two-Way Gift Of Attention
By Laura Evans

Do you know what it's like to be listened to really well? ...with full attention, without judgment and without interruption? ...by someone that you know respects and likes you and who you know you can trust? Have you listened to someone else in this way yourself? This sort of listening is the precious gift we give and receive when we do peer counseling.

Of all the many tools that we can use to make our lives what we would like them to be, peer counseling is the one that has meant the most to me. It's helped me grow and change in lots of important ways and is probably the main reason that I'm totally free now of the mental health system, and have been for the past 30 years. I was a third-generation "mental patient," but not anymore.

The free, reciprocal, confidential process of peer counseling is also known as co-counseling, shared listening, support listening, exchange listening and Re-Evaluation Counseling. Before I say more about the process, I want to mention some of the theory behind it.

One of the underlying ideas is that all of us are born good. From birth, we are innately intelligent, curious, and courageous, ready to be closely connected with the people around us and delighted with life. Unfortunately, right from the start, things happen that hurt us, emotionally and physically. Along with the good attention we get as children from our parents and other powerful people in our lives, there are lots of disappointments and hurtful, confusing messages and interactions. All through our lives there are other experiences of hurt and loss as well.

But perhaps worst of all, we are often discouraged from feeling our feelings and given little safety or support to let them out. We're told things like, "Boys don't cry," "It's not nice to say such things about your brother," and "Don't be a baby; there's nothing to be afraid of." So, consciously and unconsciously, we store up unresolved feelings of grief, fear, self-doubt, shame and anger. These can cause us to develop life-long, irrational patterns of thinking and acting that make our lives more difficult than they need to be, and make it hard for us to be as close to other people as we would like.

Now the good news: this emotional muck that has partially obscured lots of our wonderful qualities and capabilities is not made of stone! With support, over time, we can wash away the gunk and let our true selves shine through. Each of us can recover the person we were meant to be. That's what peer counseling is about.

How does the peer-counseling process work? Two people (or a small group) get together to take turns listening to each other, with as few distractions as possible. As we listen, we give our undivided, relaxed, caring attention. The time is shared equally, with each person getting 5 minutes to one hour. Often a timer is used to mark the end of a turn. To do really deep work, or if we are in crisis, we need as much time as possible. The amount of time depends on how much we have available and how long we can give good attention. Counseling in person is best, but phone time can be useful too. I have one counseling friend with whom I do five minutes each way of phone time every Tuesday morning, and it's a great way to start my day.

To begin a session, the speaker may share some pleasant observation or experience. The purpose of this is to help them leave their day behind and be present. The session may also end with the listener suggesting a simple, light or humorous exercise to bring the speaker back to the present moment and end on a positive note.

As peer-counseling partners get to know each other better, the sense of safety grows. Gradually both become more relaxed. Whatever feelings come up are discharged through such natural means of healing as talking, laughing, crying, trembling and storming. The release of the distresses frees us to think more clearly and freshly and to act more rationally, for our own good and the good of others. With experience and increasing trust, the process works better and better.

What might a person talk about? People talk about whatever they need to, anything at all, whether personal or work-related. It's a chance to unload upsets -- little or huge, in the present or from the past. Or we can use the time to celebrate our successes and think about our dreams and goals and how to work on making them come true. Actually, we don't even have to talk at all. Sometimes we might want to get in touch with feelings another way. For example, we can ask our counseling partner to read aloud a special poem, or to tell us what he likes about us, or to just sit and smile at us with an expression of warm delight while we try to keep eye contact. How the time is used is up to the speaker to decide when it is her turn to have attention paid to her.

The listener helps in these ways: by drawing the person out; by keeping in focus their inherent strengths and goodness; by conveying with posture, facial expression and tone of voice an attitude of respect and affection; by remembering not to give advice or break in with a similar story; and by showing confidence in the speaker's ability to figure out his own solutions to problems.

If you'd like to learn more, you can check out the resources listed below. Mary Ellen Copeland's book, Living Without Depression and Manic Depression, has a chapter on peer counseling, too. Also, there are two grass-roots organizations -- Re-Evaluation Counseling (RC) and Co-Counseling Intenational (CCI) -- in which people work on learning, using, and sharing the many skills of exchange-listening. They are both found throughout the U.S. and they offer support groups, classes and literature. The web site addresses are listed below.

Another way to explore further, if you're not too far from Brattleboro,Vermont, is to set up a workshop of 5 - 25 people and have me come and lead it. But you can start trying peer counseling today, without further ado, if you choose to!

PEER COUNSELING RESOURCES
Web Sites
· Re-Evaluation Counseling: http://www.rc.org
· Co-Counseling International: http://www.cci-usa.org

Pamphlets

  • The Art of Listening, by Harvey Jackins. A succinct review of the interactions involved in paying attention. $2.00
  • How to Begin "Re-Evaluation Counseling." A convenient pocket-sized booklet with simple instructions. $1.00.
  • Introduction to Co-Counseling, by Dan Nickerson. $1.00.
  • The Postulates of Re-Evaluation Counseling. $2.00

Books

  • The Human Side of Human Beings; The Theory of Re-Evaluation Counseling, by Harvey Jackins. Paper: $4.00, hardcover: $6.00.
  • Fundamentals of Co-Counseling Manual. Paper: $6.00.

All of the above publications are available from Rational Island Publishers, P.O. Box 2081, Main Office Station, Seattle, Washington 98111, Telephone: 206-284-0311. EMAIL for purchases: <litsales@rc.org>

Laura Evans, a certified Recovery Skills Educator, has been giving well-received talks and workshops on Peer Counseling since 1994. She can be contacted at 802-254-2151 if you would like her to lead a training in your area.

RECOVERY TOPIC 1

Keeping Anger From Turning To Rage
by Yvonne Smith,
edited by Mary Ellen Copeland
and Teta Hilsdon

Uncontrollable anger is a growing problem in our society. When does anger cross over to dangerous rage? Anger may trip into rage when it is not released and continues to build. This rage may cause a person to seek out less healthy ways of disposing of this anger, such as substance abuse, use of weapons, or harming oneself.

How can one control feelings of extreme anger to prevent escalation to rage and possible dangerous actions? Learning techniques to release anger is crucial to preventing rage. Anger can be just as disabling and life destroying as any other psychiatric symptom. The recent rash of rage-related incidents - on the road, in our schools, and toward individuals who others feel are "different" - begs for the teaching of anger management techniques.

It is important to note that suppressing rage - feeling it but not expressing it - can be very dangerous as well. Eventually, if it is not managed in some way, it may be even worse when it finally shows itself.

In order to develop one's own anger management techniques, one needs to look at the dynamics leading to extreme rage. I feel these dynamics include isolation, powerlessness, lack of choice, and loss of face or pride. To me anger is an internal emotional defense mechanism to respond to these feelings. How would you define anger?

People who have successfully dealt with anger depend on using self-help techniques that help them to deal with the situation without "raging". Some ideas include:

  • not taking what the other person says as a personal attack - realizing it is their problem, not yours
  • using statements that describe how you feel, rather than accusing the other person
  • avoiding saying rude, insulting or threatening things that might worsen the situation
  • taking a few deep breaths
  • staying as calm as possible
  • counting to ten before doing anything

Perhaps you can think of some other ideas. Talk to your friends and family members about this. Ask them for ideas on how to effectively deal with anger without having it turn into rage.

You also may be able to divert your attention away from whatever is causing the anger by:

  • leaving the place or the situation that is making you angry
  • focusing your attention on something pleasant that happened to you in the past or something you are looking foward to

Once you have removed yourself from the situation, there are many techniques that help to get rid of excess anger. They include doing activities that feel like they are "burning" the anger out, like:

  • extreme physical activity such as taking long walks or using a punching bag
  • doing sports activity, such as playing tennis, hand ball, golf
  • heavy duty housecleaning

Some less extreme kinds of physical work also may be relieving, like: painting a picture, working in a garden, or squeezing and manipulating play-dough and other clays.

Other successful strategies for working through anger include things that are calming, like:

  • talking to a friend
  • peer counseling
  • soothing music
  • hotbaths and whirlpools
  • meditation
  • journaling
  • creative arts
  • relaxation
  • singing
  • rolling around marbles or other round objects in your hand.
  • squeezing round soft balls.

You may have discovered other ways that are helpful to you in relieving your anger.

After the incident, when you are feeling more calm, you may want to think about the situation and decide if your feelings about the incident were justified or if it would be helpful to think about what has happened in some different way. You may also want to think about ways you could handle similar circumastances in the future without getting angry or flying into a rage.

Techniques such as those touched on in this article, plus many others, are important in avoiding rage. In the best case scenario people would begin learning at a very early age how to cope with feelings of anger, how to avoid rage, and how to diffuse rage. But it's never too late to learn these things.

RECOVERY TOPIC 2

Bill Of Rights

Many people find it helpful to keep a list of their human rights. We can read it over when we are feeling disempowered or just in need of a reminder of our worth. This is the bill of rights that Mary Ellen uses in her trainings. Feel free to add your own to your personal list.

  1. I have the right to ask for what I want.
  2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can't meet.
  3. I have the right to change my mind.
  4. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
  5. I have the right to follow my own values and standards.
  6. I have the right to express all of my feelings, both positive or negative, in a manner that will not harm others.
  7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.
  8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.
  9. I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems.
  10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.
  11. I have the right to feel angry at someone I love and to express this in a responsible manner.
  12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.
  13. I have the right to feel scared and say "I'm afraid."
  14. I have the right to say "I don't know."
  15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
  16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings, beliefs and values.
  17. I have the right to my own reality.
  18. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
  19. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
  20. I have the right to be healthy.
  21. I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
  22. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
  23. I have the right to change and grow.
  24. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
  25. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
  26. I have the right to grieve.
  27. I have the right to a fulfilling sex life.
  28. I have the right to be happy.

(Adapted from Edmund Bourne's bill of rights in Anxiety and Phobia Workbook.)

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P. O. Box 6464, Chandler, Arizona 85246
Toll-Free: 1-866-I DO WRAP (1-866-436-9727) · Phone: (480) 855-3282
Fax: (480) 855-5118
Email: info@copelandcenter.com

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